There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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