Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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