Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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toast points

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Women.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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