Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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You smell like shit

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where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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*you're

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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