What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

i like pie.

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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