Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Woman's rights.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Breast cancer.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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