i like turtals and kids

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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knock knock come in

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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