Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I enjoy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

YEAH THEY DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops