roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

Roey Jegen

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...