What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

thumb_up thumb_down +5

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

#Hanging Degus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops