roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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