What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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