How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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terry stockton is straight

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops