How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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