A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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8

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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