Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Toaster

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops