What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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