knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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feces

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Your time.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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