A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

TURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPS

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

yo mama is fat shes fat

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

what smells worse then shit Drew White

What isn't funny? The holacost.

My children are huge mistakes.

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...