Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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