What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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whats long and green? weed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops