What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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