What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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hi

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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Loner.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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your mum

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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