when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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You

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Hi

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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