what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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LOL May Wong

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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