Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

69

what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

Welcome to die!

Yo mamas so fat

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

knock knock how there me ok come in

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

Dylan is a person

how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

Women.

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

Nicolas Cage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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