Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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whats long and green? weed

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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