Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

knock knock Come in!!!

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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