I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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where are you?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops