Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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