Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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Women's rights

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my friend is gay hes gay

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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