Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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kevin kim

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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obama leadership

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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