I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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