How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

thumb_up thumb_down

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man says "ask" correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you hold someone in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops