Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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Yes.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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