Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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Land Rovers

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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woman's rights

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Why did 6 hook up with 7 ?

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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