A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is a very respectable woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

fart+fart=poop

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's really weird? It's you Greg!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops