Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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thumbs up!

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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dead battery come on down

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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melon

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops