Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Women's rights.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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