Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

thumb_up thumb_down +31

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops