If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Woman's rights.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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