Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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The Pope

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Girls

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Wy did the chicken?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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