Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops