There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Penis

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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A women president

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whats long and green? weed

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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