Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops