Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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Jaden McMichael

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops