How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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I never asked for this.

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I've got a dig bick

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Women's rights.

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hipsters

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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