What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Welcome to die!

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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hi corey

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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