A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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knock knock go away

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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