Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

Womens rights.

What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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