A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Women's rights.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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