If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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this is not a joke

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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