Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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Guess what? Holocaust

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Gay's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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