Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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Badgers are cool

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops