Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

0123456789

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

colby doesnt shave

thumb_up thumb_down +36

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the baby die? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops