How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops