A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

wanna hear a joke? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops