An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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What is cold? Winter

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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Obamacare haters

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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