If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Male penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops